Nothing new

 

We haven't been up to much lately.  Just kinda chillin' at home.  My friend I babysit for was on maternity leave... so I had a break from work.  I thought I would get so much done around the house.  HA!  Funny me :)  Spending time with these 2 is worth a mess, unorganized house.  They are growing way too fast and I don't want to miss a second!  They are pretty great kids... even on ornery days.  They help me smile on days when I want to cry.  They make me cry with happiness (and frustration sometimes).  They melt my heart many times during the day.  Aren't they cute?!

Do you ever look at your kids at think, "Wow... they deserve so much better than I am."?  I have been feeling that way a lot lately.  I have been feeling fairly overwhelmed, and feeling, frankly, like I am failing at many things.  My situation hasn't really changed, so why am I feeling this way more often?

I think a major reason is that I am stubborn.  I think that I can do everything on my own, no help.  This is clearly not the case. I have been blessed with a wonderful, hard-working husband.  But he is often gone from home, at work and school.  The kids and I are lucky to see him more than an hour a day during the school year.  So, there are times when I feel very alone. I have come to realize that I need to rely more upon my Savior for His help in raising these amazing Spirits.  I cannot do it alone.  I know that He can and will help me.  I only need to ask, to listen, to obey. I pray that I will be the mother my kids deserve.  That they will remember a fun mom... not one constantly stressed, or short tempered. 

I debated for quite awhile about whether or not to write this post.  But it has been on my mind lots lately.  So please forgive me.  I've heard it helps to write goals down....so here is one of mine.

My little cuties

I certainly don't update my blog very often anymore.  I don't do anything as often as I used to anymore. I don't have time to  clean, bake, craft, hang out as often as I used to...but I wouldn't have it any other way.  My babies are growing up way too fast.  I wish I could slow it down... give them all the time and attention I have.  I am so grateful to be these adorable kids' mom.  I am blessed with more than I deserve.

My beautiful Aileah.  She loves dressing up, riding carousels, and pretending to be characters from her favorites movies.  She is also becoming quite the little photographer.  She takes my phone from me all the time so she can take pictures.  She says the funniest things.  I have no idea where she comes up with these things.  She just had her first sleepover.  While I am glad she had a good time, I was sad too.  I feel like she doesn't really need me anymore.  She is getting cuddlier (yes, that is a word), which I love! Such a sweet girl.

 

My handsome Eli.  He is still army crawling, although he can crawl the other way.  He is pulling himself up to standing on furniture.  He is fearless... and has had the bumps on his head to prove it.  He is a calm little guy, usually.  He says "Dada" when he's happy.  "Mama" when he's sad.  He does a funny, long  intake of breath when he is excited.  He likes to laugh when we do.  Such a good baby.

Fall Adventures

Time is flying by.  I feel so busy, yet seem to get nothing done.  It is November.  I can't believe this year is almost gone.  We have tried to do some fun things with Daddy while we can.  Here are some things we've been up to lately.

We went to the canyons, lots of times.  I love it!  So beautiful!

We went to Gardner Village.  Aileah was a little afraid of this witch.  But LOVED riding a pony named Silver.

We went to Cascade Springs.  Pretty little walk.

Went to the Pumpkin Patch.  Fun, but windy!

Carved a pumpkin.  Aileah didn't want to get dirty, so we had to scoop the pumpkin guts onto her spoon.  Then she would dump it into the bowl.  What a silly little monkey!
 

And we went Trick or Treating!  I have the most adorable

If I could do it all again

As I grow older time seems to pass more quickly.  Seems like just last year I was in high school.  Just last week I was in the singles' ward.  And as if yesterday, my beautiful daughter was born.  Thinking back makes me think about things I would do differently, lessons I learned from my mistakes.  Here are some I wish I had learned a little earlier in my life.

Don't be afraid to look silly.  (Actually one of my greatest fears) People are rarely watching you to see if you look goofy, dumb, whatever.  So go ahead and be crazy.

Try new things.  Don't be afraid of new experiences.  You may find something you love because you try something different.

Enjoy the stage of life you are currently in.  I wasted so much time while I was single wishing I was married.  I forgot to enjoy it.  Bloom where you are planted.

Make friends, be social.  It's so easy to stay in your own little cocoon.  But you only grow when you stretch yourself.  I learned so much from my friends and roommates.  I am so lucky to have such amazing friends.

Family is the most important thing.  I love my family, always have.  But I take them for granted. They are my best friends.  I know they will be there for me no matter what.  But I need to take time to strengthen my relationships with them. 

I wish I could go back in time and tell myself these things.  But I can only take the lessons I've learned and move on from here. 
   

A Quick Getaway

I am so glad that Tom's back in school!  Why?  Because we actually see him for a little bit now.  The summer was rough, really, really rough.  Tom was working 2 jobs and was home less than ever.  It was hard on all of us.  Tom created and started an internship, hoping to get some real-world experience in an auto shop while still getting class credit.  It didn't take long for us to realize this was not an option for us.  He was NEVER home.  Never.  Gratefully, he quit the internship so he would have time for homework and family.  Whew. 
We took a quick trip to Ogden and Elko.  Here are a few pics from our trip.

We started our trip with a drive thru the Alpine Loop.  It was really bright.

Relaxing in the hotel in Ogden

Happy to be out of the car seat

Playing at the Treehouse Museum.  Aileah loved it!

Aileah asked me to take this pic at the Dinosaur Park.

Visiting with Tom's family

  It was nice to just be together and to get away... even if it wasn't a "real" vacation.  I love the times when we are all together.  I wish we had it more.  We are all a lot happier :)

A new year, a new beginning

Today is my 36th birthday.  For some reason this birthday was kinda bummed me out.  30?  Loved it!  35?  No big deal.  So why the random 36?  I think because I am no longer in my mid-30's.  Now it's my late 30's.  Silly, I know.  But, this birthday has got me thinking about my life and changes I'd like to make. 

For as long as I can remember I have struggled with my weight.  I finally was getting a hang of it before Tom and I started dating.  I swore, up and down, that I would not go back to where I was before.  That I would keep the weight off.  Yeah.... that so did not happen.  Here I sit, way too close to my highest weight.  Grr!  How did I let this happen?  I am so annoyed and frustrated with myself.  So, I have decided it is time to make some changes.  It will not be easy, this I know.  But it is possible... if I work at it.  I will cut back on soda, I will eat less sweets, I will exercise more, I will eat more fruits and veggies.  I will look like this again!

Or maybe even better!  I will post updates on my progress. (Gotta have accountability, right?!)